My D

Warning: The following ‘parody’ contains 136 references to genitals, so do not expect lyrical ingenuity.

I thought it would be fun to see how long I could keep extending the original idea, and got carried away.

The Original Tune:

Mickey Avalon - My Dick (Original)

My Dick (My extended version)

My dick cost a late night fee Your dick got the HIV My dick plays on the double feature screen Your dick went straight to DVD My dick - bigger than a bridge Your dick look like a little kid's My dick - large like the Chargers, the whole team Your shit look like you fourteen My dick - locked in a cage, right Your dick suffer from stage fright My dick - so hot, it's stolen Your dick look like Gary Coleman My dick - pink and big Your dick stinks like shit My dick got a Caesar do, Your dick needs a tweezer, dude My dick is like super size Your dick look like two fries My dick - more mass than the Earth Your dick - half staff, it needs work My dick - been there done that Your dick sits there with dunce cap My dick - V.I.P. Your shit needs I.D. It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus My dick need no introduction Your dick don't even function My dick served a whole lunch -in Your dick - it look like a munchkin My dick - size of a pumpkin Your dick look like Macaulay Culkin My dick - good good lovin' Your dick - good for nothin' My dick bench pressed 350 Your dick couldn't shoplift at Thrifty My dick - pretty damn skippy Your dick - hungry as a hippie My dick don't fit down the chimney Your dick is like a kid from the Philippines My dick is like an M16 Your dick - broken vending machine   My dick parts the seas Your dick farts and queefs My dick - rumble in the jungle Your dick got touched by your uncle My dick goes to yoga Your dick - fruit roll -up My dick - grade -A beef Your dick - Mayday geek My dick - sick and dangerous Your dick - quick and painless My dick - 'nuff said. Your dick loves Fred It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus It's time that we let the world know Dude, you gotta let your girl go D.S. is the best in the business P.S. we got dicks like Jesus

My dick - a grand piano Your dick - an iPod nano My dick - Justice League Your dick - is little league My dick the size of Ancient Rome Your dick the size of a chromosome My dick - a banana Your dick - a sultana My dick - a Hummer Your dick - an imaginary number My dick – defies gravity Your dick – defines brevity   My dick - a blue whale Your dick - a sea snail My dick could kill ya your dick - micro cilia My dick is Gandalf Your dick - a house-elf My dick has land for lease Your dick was fondled by a priest My dick impossible to crop Your dick needs Photoshop My dick - over nine-thousand Your dick - hundreds and thousands My dick - Charizard Your dick - Magikarp My dick - Hubble telescope Your dick – High school microscope My dick is a bazooka Your dick is a pea shooter My dick - a wives’ trophy Your dick has dystrophy My dick - a Cadillac Your dick - a tictac My dick makes it hard to walk Your dick looks like Mickey Rourke My dick - girls can't get enough Your dick was sorted into Hufflepuff My dick, longer than a Quidditch pitch Your dick’s nick is Nearly-headless Nick My dick - thick as an encyclopaedia Your dick - a removable disk media My dick is like a baguette your dick – a burnt out cigarette My dick is world famous and renown Your dick doesn't scrape the floor when you're sitting down My dick has Facebook fans Your dick is Comic Sans My dick  - legendary like Chuck Norris Your dick like the arms of a Tyrannosaurus My dick has struck oil Your dick looks like a boil My dick could serve as an anchor Your dick belongs to a wanker My dick more power than a reactor Your dick needs Max Factor My dick’s semi is Optimus Prime Your dick has the girth of a dime My dick can be tied into a knot Your dick resembles a dot My dick knocks me out when I run down stairs Your dick camouflages in your pubic hair My dick has its own ski resort Your dick belongs in the minority report My dick - like an elephant's trunk Your dick gets less action than a monk My dick bigger than Queen Latifah Your dick likes Justin Bieber My dick is adored Your dick is ignored My dick is a protected world heritage site Your dick has feebler wood than homes of termites My dick conquered more than William Your dick has the weight of helium My dick longer than the Wall of China Your dick inspired the term ‘mangina’ My dick gets an encore Your dick is an eye sore My dick is a chart-topper Your dick is a party popper My dick - hotter than the sun on a ginger Your dick - fast and invisible like a ninja My dick - seen on Google Earth Your dick - not seen at birth My dick was meant for porn Your dick – more forgettable than Bourne My dick has a six pack Your dick - smaller than a tack My dick - the broomstick of a witch Your dick - small and quick like the Snitch My dick so big it has stretch marks Your dick couldn’t be refunded to Kmart My dick gets more ass than a toilet seat Your dick - softer than your precious sheep My dick - a gift for naughty girls at Christmas Your dick - rejected more often than a Jehovah Witness My dick has a religion Your dick, is a smidgen My dick - a stripper's favourite pole Your dick just makes them LOL My dick caused winter to come Your dick is the Frey scum My dick won an Emmy award Your dick didn’t make it to the drawing board My dick can function as a belt Your dick has a funky-ass smell My dick – more addictive than a cig Your dick - Hipsters love it because it’ll never make it big My dick, enough wood for winter Your dick, a tiny splinter My dick is legendary Your dick, a comic tragedy My dick – longer than a trip on a Mobius strip Your dick – more hated than Microsoft Word’s paperclip My dick is longer than this rhyme Your dick has no shadow to tell the time

Previous Post: Parody of Macklemore's Thrift Shop - Rich Snob

[Parody] of Macklemore's Thrift Shop - Rich Snob

This catchy song was overplayed in 2013, and so naturally it was ripe for parodying. This is my attempt:

The Original Lyrics - Click to play Youtube - Macklemore's Thrift Shop	Lyrics
What, what, what, what... [x7] Bada, badada, badada, bada... [x9] [Hook:] I'm gonna pop some tags Only got twenty dollars in my pocket I - I - I'm hunting, looking for a come-up This is fucking awesome	What, what, what, what... [x7] Bada, badada, badada, bada... [x9] [Hook:] I’ve got so much cash I can’t even close my wallet I - I - I’m crying, in my Ferrari First world fucking problems
[Verse 1:] Nah, Walk up to the club like, "What up, I got a big cock!" I'm so pumped about some shit from the thrift shop Ice on the fringe, it's so damn frosty That people like, "Damn! That's a cold ass honkey." Rollin' in, hella deep, headin' to the mezzanine, Dressed in all pink, 'cept my gator shoes, those are green Draped in a leopard mink, girls standin' next to me Probably shoulda washed this, smells like R. Kelly's sheets (Piiisssssss) But shit, it was ninety-nine cents! (Bag it) Coppin' it, washin' it, 'bout to go and get some compliments Passin' up on those moccasins someone else's been walkin' in But me and grungy fuckin it man I am stuntin' and flossin' and Savin' my money and I'm hella happy that's a bargain, bitch I'ma take your grandpa's style, I'ma take your grandpa's style, No for real - ask your grandpa - can I have his hand-me-downs? (Thank you) Velour jumpsuit and some house slippers Dookie brown leather jacket that I found diggin' They had a broken keyboard, I bought a broken keyboard I bought a skeet blanket, then I bought a kneeboard Hello, hello, my ace man, my Mello John Wayne ain't got nothing on my fringe game, hell no I could take some Pro Wings, make them cool, sell those The sneaker heads would be like "Aw, he got the Velcros"	[Verse 1:] My, oceanfront view is, blocked up, by my big yacht! I’ve got a Phd, but no one calls me “Doc”, Lag on my fridge, nutella jar empty Overslept, Damn! The bed’s too comfy Carryin’, only greens, can’t use the vending machine My fav band stinks, cause now they are too  mainstream Look like I've a small dick, due to skinny jeans Overslept so I missed,  Macca’s brekkie treats (Pissed) Asians, not getting 100%! (Racist) Tastin’ it, wastin’ it, food lacked enough condiments Racin’ to the cookies tastin’, but they turn out to be raisin Coffee so well insulated and I can’t use it to warm my hands Broke a nail after getting a manicure, bitch Shops have too many aisles, Shops have too many aisles, Got a cheque, so now have to go to the bank in town (Damn you) Promo expired on my free Snickers Not enough dip for my chicken nuggets Had to re-tie my right shoe, now feels tighter than my left shoe Too hungry to sleep, but too tired to make food 2 pillows’ too high, 1 pillow's too low, Medium pizza would feed me, but large is better food to money ratio. My iPhone’s broken, have to listen to radio Nothing to wear, but my closet's full of clothes
[Hook] I'm gonna pop some tags Only got twenty dollars in my pocket I - I - I'm hunting, looking for a come-up This is fucking awesome	[Hook] At home there’s a wet patch but I step in it with my sock and I - I - I’m crying, in my mansion First world fucking problems
[Verse 2:] What you know about rockin' a wolf on your noggin? What you knowin' about wearin' a fur fox skin? I'm digging, I'm digging, I'm searching right through that luggage One man's trash, that's another man's come-up Thank your granddad for donating that plaid button-up shirt 'Cause right now I'm up in here stuntin' I'm at the Goodwill, you can find me in the (Uptons) I'm not, I'm not sick of searchin' in that section (Uptons) Your grammy, your aunty, your momma, your mammy I'll take those flannel zebra jammies, second-hand, I rock that motherfucker The built-in onesie with the socks on that motherfucker I hit the party and they stop in that motherfucker They be like, "Oh, that Gucci - that's hella tight." I'm like, "Yo - that's fifty dollars for a T-shirt." Limited edition, let's do some simple addition Fifty dollars for a T-shirt - that's just some ignorant bitch (shit) I call that getting swindled and pimped (shit) I call that getting tricked by a business That shirt's hella dough And having the same one as six other people in this club is a hella don't Peep game, come take a look through my telescope Trying to get girls from a brand? Man you hella won't Man you hella won't (Goodwill... poppin' tags... yeah!)	[Verse 2] Have to reset my log-in, cause I have forgotten The net’s so boring, so I’m surfing Firefox and I’m wanking, with Olay, my penis looks half my age. My hand's too fat, to fit into Pringles make me rage Hate how pirated music comes with no album artwork GPS glitched, so I have no direction Without batts, my book don’t even function Glasses so clean I see my eye’s own reflection Snapchattin’, Hashtaggin’, but should be, exam crammin’ Lift not working, its jammin, and, so took the elevator Ordered a tall no fat white hot choc, got a mocha later Finger ripped through my ultra soft toilet paper Phones have ruined, surprise water balloon fights I’m like, “I ate too much, my tummy hurts” Autocorrection, ruining my street diction I do not have enough salsa -  for my dorito chips (shit) but don't have the chips to open a new jar (dip)  I didn't get what I want for Christmas First class is shocker There’s too much space to reach the touchscreen monitor I took a dump but then I forgot my smartphone Diamond earrings in my Vuitton bag, damn scratched my iPhone, Damn I lost my pony (High tax, earnin’ cash...yeah!)
[Hook] I'm gonna pop some tags Only got twenty dollars in my pocket I - I - I'm hunting, looking for a come-up This is fucking awesome	[Hook] I wish I was a fag I have issues with commitment, I - I - I’m wishing, marriage was illegal First world fucking problems
[Bridge] I wear your granddad's clothes I look incredible I'm in this big ass coat From that thrift shop down the road I wear your granddad's clothes I look incredible I'm in this big ass coat From that thrift shop down the road	[Bridge] Free wifi is too slow I’m too beautiful No one takes me seriously though Broke the shell of my taco Toothbrush batts are too low Someone left voicemail My boat just got towed I’m that rich snob down the road
[Hook] I'm gonna pop some tags Only got twenty dollars in my pocket I - I - I'm hunting, looking for a come-up This is fucking awesome Is that your grandma's coat?	[Hook] I’ve got so much cash I can’t even close my wallet I - I - I’m crying, bent my golf club First world fucking problems Damn I have to go outside and vote?

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