WUBSTEP

Nasty. Dirty. Filthy. Grimy.

... those are the adjectives often used to describe the tone of dubstep music.

Hate it or love it, dubstep is the latest music fad, and much like the genre itself, affectionate descriptions used by fans were once fresh and creative, have now has become a repetitive mess. If you go to any youtube video of such music, you will invariably find one of the following delightful comments, either about how heavy the beats drop, or how dirty it is:

• The bass was so heavy my rubix cube fell off my desk and completed itself. 
• My girlfriend hated this until I told her to sit on the sub-woofer.
•  The drop fucked me in the ear…without a condom, and now? I have hearing aids
• Hiroshima was lucky the US didn’t drop THIS on them!
• The beat drops harder than my gramps falling down the stairs in his wheelchair.
• This is what Transformers having sex with a dinosaur would sound like

 This beat is...

• So dirty, that it makes me want to go round to my grandma's house and beat her with the Yellow Pages.
• So dirty, I had to quickly switch back to my porn tab when my mom walked in. 
• Dirtier than Jack Sparrow's Jar of Dirt
• Dirtier than farting on a cold window and licking the condensation...
• Dirtier than Ghandi's sandals.
• Dirtier than my internet history
• So dirty even a woman can't clean it
• Filthier than your mother doing squats on a cucumber field.
• Nastier than throwing a brick at a disabled kid
• Dirtier than the value of the German currency in the post-war period following WWI when hyperinflation occurred, dropping its value from little to none and making just buying a loaf of bread cost thousands of dollars. This was most probably caused by German printing mass quantities of money to make up for the reparation payments for war debts. 
• Grimier than sniffing my nans knickers on wash day
• Dirtier than fisting a horse and finding your hamster's corpse inside
• Dirtier then Hitler's gas bill...
• Dirtier than Gollum's scrotum

and the perennial favourite:

• Dirtier than fingering your sister & finding your dad's engagement ring

The first time I read these descriptions, my sphincter actually gasped at their shocking nature.
Though these vivid analogies are excellent and at times, more enjoyable than the music itself, when youtubers rehash the same descriptors everyday for every single dubstep song, it gets rather tedious and make me want to punch a volcano. I just wish at least some attempt was made to be original instead of being a generic thumbs-up whore who copies and posts the same comments over and over again.

For example, the following are some I've just written up in 5 minutes

• This is dirtier than eating a bread that was used to wipe a public toilet seat.
• This is dirtier than drinking the sediment at the bottom of an expired can of Foster's.
• The beat drops harder than my shitty iPhone reception.
• This is dirtier than 18th century London.
• This is dirtier than sharing a toothbrush with a hooker and the disposal bin at the Sperm bank
• This is dirtier than having kinky foreplay and putting 7 gummy lollies in your partner's reproductive tract, only to end up extracting 8 out with your tongue, finding out the 8th was a genital wart.

I hope that last description left a good taste in your mouth ^_^.