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Friday, October 17, 2014

Get Protection

A sharp intake of air.
Then another.
And another.

Her muscles start to tense as she fights for control.

Eyelids fluttering to a close, her lips part.

Her back arches, trying to resist the waves building up inside her
Face turning red, in futility, she tries hold back the incoming eruption.

Despite exerting self-restraint, she starts to lose it…
Letting out a series of quick Ahhh’s
Shaking, muscles spasm, her eyes roll back as her head lifts back.

There’s a pause.

Her mind goes blank.

Then it hits her.
Waves pulsing through, she rocks violently forward, powerfully thrusting her face into his tissues.
Letting out a loud noise, in her relief, she involuntarily expels liquid everywhere.
And though slightly dazed she determinedly continues blowing with all her might.


“Bless you” he says.
“Thank you.” she replies with a smile.


Protect yourself. Get a flu vaccination today.
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The flu epidemic. It’s nothing to sneeze at…
One of the greatest contributors to global morbidity and mortality; this virus’ main symptom - sneezing, can be physiologically attributed to increased signals and blood flow to spongy tissues (of the nasal variety). So how is it relevant to copulation? None, except that it got your attention and involves an immense physical build-up, messy release and can occur several times in a row. One mustn’t also forget how both can lend a sizable contribution to the spread of diseases.
So that’s why I want to urge everyone out there to get your flu vaccination before next winter. Prevention is better then cure, and with most clinics offering the vaccine at a cost less than $20, this is not only a pain-free, but very cost-effective way of keeping yourself healthy. After all, all the drugs and days off work will add up to a whole lot more than twenty bucks. And the feeling of a clear throat, nose and mind is pretty much priceless.
Now excuse me while I go off and write a story on how vaccination is like intercourse.*


*i.e. tissue is penetrated, its an invasion of foreign bodies, many are initially scared of it, its just a small prick, its over really quick, side-effects are bleeding, bruising & fainting, only the most religious don't do it and doctors provide this service several times a day... okay I might be deluding myself on that last one.
It's probably best if I leave this business of cliterotica alone to experts like Stephenie Meyer and E.L. James.
Anyways did you know sex is a natural antihistamine? "its emission phase provides a sympathetic stimulation and subsequent vasoconstriction and nasal decongestion. Also, the refractory period serves as a sympathetic reservoir and maintains the decongestive state for a considerable while."

ACHOOOOOO!!!
Well, uh... I guess I should go ahead and cure myself of a blocked nose... by myself now.

But no seriously get protected

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